An Ode For Forgiveness Part 2:

We have been anticipating and expecting for it to happen but when it did happen, it went out of control. I failed to foresee the consequences and took you down to drown with me. It should not have happened that way but the hunger kept us from being rational, it kept our once constantly reasoned intelligence from being coherent about the things that we were about to do. If there is a need to blame somebody, that somebody should be me.

You trusted me to navigate the ark, to plot the route for both of us every time we set sail on our little conquests to achieve our highest earthly heavens, to impede us from going off the course and to marshal through even if the surge was too strong. I have failed you sayang, I have failed us. The tide was too vigorous and it made me fall down. I should have been more responsible and should not have let hunger blind my sight and reason.

I hate myself for letting it happen. I barely slept since that night. Left, right or center, all seem to be paths with clogged end for me. To make things worse, I know for a fact that all these things that I have to put up with, were only bits and chunks compared to the ordeals and traumas that you have to deal with every day.

Forgive me, sayang, forgive me.