Or Am I Being Too Fucking Sensitive?

Who am I to her? I thought it was ok for me to think that she's exclusively mine. Mind, body and soul. I guess I was wrong. I felt that I am forced to embrace the fact that when it comes to question of feelings, I am no better that anybody else around her. Maybe she didn’t even realize that, what she did. But she made me feel that I am worthless. Maybe I am a worthless fuck when it comes to feelings. Inferiority and insecurity is all over my bloody head. Or am I being too fucking sensitive?

Is it a sin to feel inferior and insecure? I hope not because I can not be perfect although i had been spending each and every second with her trying. As much I can not change the way she deal with those motherfuckers, I too will find it extremely difficult to change how I perceive things under the blanket of my little and stupid inferiorities and insecurities. I really wanted to change all things weak in me but I am afraid that that is the way how I feel when it comes to situations involving you, me and a third person. You can not easily change feelings.

Is it a sin to be jealous? I am a bloody jealous guy and that’s a fact that I have to bear and live with for the rest of my entire bloody life. Why didn’t she just go and confront them in the first place? Tell them that they should not use such words. We would not even be having this shit in the first place for god sake. Is it a sin for me to think that if we had not had the bloody argument, she would not even give a damn about it? And that I just have to accept and live knowing that every fucking wanker in town is chasing her right left and center and she is letting them have a go at it? Or am I being too fucking sensitive?

She could have confronted them first thing after she read it and that could have saved us a whole lotta mess. But she hesitated a while too long because she does not feel that it is her responsibility to prevent things that she had not start. Maybe it is because there is nothing to prevent in the first place. I tried looking at it through her eyes and still could not find a reason that it would not escalate the issue, the consequence of which would into something much more serious than a just mere quarrel.

Or am I just being too fucking sensitive?