The Accidental Dream:

I had a dream this morning and in that dream i was involved in a horryfingly graphic accident. Like a good Jason Statham movie or any movies directed by Guy Ritchie, there were third person view shots from different and cinematographic angles only those people from Festival de Cannes can appreciate. I got cut badly and most of the cuts were so deep, in one you can even see the organs inside. The red blood was now darker and thicker. It was gory and sickening. I did not die in the accident unfortunately.

The last thing i remember i was browsing you page and learnt that you've moved on with your life and i remember not knowing how i was suppose to react. Should i be happy for you or should i be sad for me. Happy seeing that you are happy and smiling again, sad because it was not me who made you smile. Should not i be there? Your happiness, your laughter, your smiles and your glows were all there but i was not there.

Then i thought, maybe this is not a bad thing afterall. Wishful thinking.

Berhenti:

Aku kecewa. Berhenti. Ketenangan itu sudah lama tiada. Berhenti. Bahagia sudah lama pergi. Berhenti. Adakah dia akan kembali? Berhenti. Apakah dia akan kembali? Berhenti. Mungkinkah dia akan kembali? Berhenti.

Tuhan, berilah aku petanda. Walau sekecil cuma. Biar aku tenang. Biar gusarku terbang. Biar senyumku pulang. Aku terlalu menyintai dia. Berhenti.

Kesimpulan:

[monolog]
Melihat dia didalam setiap sesuatu yang pernah dibicara dengannya. Langit. Hujan. Segalanya.
Setiap sesuatu bagai ada dia. Sukar. Gusar. Kecewa. Tidak pernah tiada hari untuk terkenang dan merindui. Sangat dan masih merindui. Terseksa jiwa raga, nafas bagaikan terhenti seketika.
Tak bisa lena kerana terlalu merindui. Tak bisa tenang kerana terlalu menyintai. Sukar. Gusar. kecewa. Noktah. Tanpa dia hidup ini adalah perenggan-perenggan sunyi, sepi dan hidup ini bagai monolog-monolog kosong yang tiada erti.

[bukan monolog]
Lantas aku bertanya monolog itu: untuk apa hidup lagi?

Noktah Bertindih:

Kesimpulan: Tertekan. Rindu. Tertekan. Rindu.
 
 
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